The journey of a south indian girl to the rest of the world

To embrace an unconventional path, one learns that maps are mere suggestions, and timelines are the playful whispers of a mischievous universe. It's in those delightful "oh dear,  where am I?" moments that the real magic happens. After all, if everyone took the same straight road, we'd all arrive at the same destination and would invariably be led into  uninteresting narratives. I prefer the scenic route, the one with unexpected chai stalls and conversations with the most unlikely yet intriguing souls. So, when a sense of not belonging starts to emerge,  I remind myself that maybe, just maybe, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be – discovering a hidden bookstore in a faraway land, planning an escape from a rogue monsoon cloud while on the top of a cliff, or simply learning that getting wonderfully lost is the best way to find oneself.

It was the great J.R.R Tolkein who said in his poem from 1954, ‘The Riddle of Strider’ - ‘All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost’, a quote that has stayed with me like an old, trusted friend, seeing me through many years of navigating the different paths life has led me on. For, any time I feel I have gone off the beaten track, I find myself gently guided back, as if reminded that the detours are exactly where I am meant to be. And, if I am entirely honest with you, which is what I strive to be, my dear reader; I have been lost more often than I cared to admit once upon a time.

‘Isn’t it daunting though? Aren’t you scared?’ I’ve been asked on many occasions and truth be told, I really don’t feel fear when I’m travelling. I’m in survival mode no matter where in the world I am, and therefore, there is no time to fear or worry; something I’m trying to inculcate into my life even when I’m not on the road, because I know, in the depths of my being, that I am protected.

The mrityunjaya stotram is one that I learnt when I was very young and continue to chant to this day because in this Brahmin household, there is no time for worry or to fear. While these feelings to present themselves more often than we would like,  we are constantly celebrating life in its various avatars, be it the monsoon showers, the spring harvest, the joy of education or Kacheri season (music season), you are given reason everyday to be grateful for what surrounds you; so much so that negativity of any kind is warded off protected by a shield of blessings from the Gods and building a silent resilience that I later discovered as a young adult.

Your day begins early with the likes of the Hanuman Chalisa, the Aditya Hridayam or the Vishnu Saharsanamam, drawing kolams which are essentially protective sigils outside the house because like I said, ‘no room for negativity’. The daily rituals from lighting a beautiful little oil lamp at sunrise and sunset and setting aside the first morsels of rice for the Gods and the Crows to No matter the mood, it is always  a day filled with an energy that is quite inexplicably grounding in many ways,  gradually leading into nightfall with the sounds of the powerful Mrityunjaya Stotram, an ancient mantra that invokes the power to overcome adversity.

So no, there is no fear in my heart when I travel or even otherwise because I know I am being guided and protected. It takes no weight in my rucksack, it costs no money, but it is the most priceless, ancient, valuable thing I possess and can carry with me wherever I go. I am, therefore, never truly on my own.

Blessed be and all my love,

Metal Maami.